When You’ve Done All the “Right” Things and It’s Not Working

We all do it.

We look at the lists and we check the boxes. We follow the map and we do the math. We YouTube and Google the answers and ways to get there. We think if we do X, we should get Y and 2 + 2 should always = 4.

Somewhere along the way, we’ve bought into this lie that if we do and say all the right things, it’ll get us what we want. Whether it’s the job, the relationship, the (insert whatever achievement here), if we work hard enough and smart enough, we will accomplish what we are working towards. And when the results don’t measure up to what we expected, we are left confused and disappointed.

Let me share an example of how this has played out for me recently. I’m having this problem with my hair. I wash it, but it immediately looks and feels greasy. Don’t bother sending me tips because I’ve tried basically everything. I’ve tried washing it every day and I’ve tried only washing in twice a week. I’ve tried cheap hair products and expensive ones. At the moment, I’m two months into one very expensive, 5-step hair routine and I’m teetering on the edge of just shaving my head. Kidding, but I’ve contemplated it…Basically, I’ve done all the right things and it’s just not working.

I’m afraid this way of thinking has crept into our relationships with God. It’s way more subtle than a works-based mentality or the prosperity gospel. Because while many of us silently judge those two ideologies, there’s something in deep within us that thinks if we obey God, we will get the outcome we want.

When you’ve done all the “right” things and it’s still not working, it’s tempting to question God. Is He good? Is He kind? Does He care?

This is something I wrestle with often. Whether it’s how I view prayer, or why I choose to behave a certain way, or how I respond when things aren’t working out how I think they should, it reveals my complete lack of trust in the Lord. It’s less about following a list of rules, and more about the motivation behind why I follow them. I think by checking all the boxes, I get to be in control of what happens.

But, obeying God does not always get us the outcome we want.

When we follow God, we let go of controlling how things turn out. That can be scary when we don’t trust Him with the unknown. But when we choose to trust Him, we can rest in knowing He is working out all the details. Our job is to be obedient and trust God with the outcome. He is concerned with our hearts. He longs for us to trust in Him, regardless of how things turn out. Not because He is mean, or because He wants us to suffer. When you are in a healthy relationship with someone, you trust them because you love them and you know they love you and have your best interests in mind.

Our obedience is more important than the outcome.

What does obedience look like today?

Maybe it’s loving the person you really don’t want to love right now, who may never say they are sorry.

Maybe it’s moving to the place where you don’t want to go, but know you are called to go.

Maybe it’s doing the thing you don’t want to do but know you would be disobeying God if you didn’t. 

So why should we obey?

To put it simply: because Jesus did that for us.

Jesus knew His disciples would betray Him and He loved them anyway.

Jesus knew He would be rejected by everyone He loved and walked out His calling anyway.

Jesus knew He had to die a brutal death on a cross for a bunch of people (like me) who are really messed up and DID.IT.ANYWAY!

Most importantly, Jesus knew is that the outcome of His obedience meant a chance for you and me to know God. And that made it all worth it.

Obeying God is a way to actively show our affection for what He did through Jesus.

And if you’ve made this far, here’s where I get to tell you the good news: God still promises a lot of really good things to those who walk in obedience.

Even beyond that God freely offers us life in Jesus regardless of our disobedience, lack of trust in Him and repeatedly doing all the wrong things. And Jesus proves we can trust God, and that’s the best outcome we could ever hope for anyway.

By the way, the problems with my hair have yet to be resolved. So, you can find me sporting a very messy bun and my trusted black CLT baseball hat from now until eternity.